Contributor Post: Ann Christine Sison
My parents just celebrated their 31st wedding anniversary 5 days ago. You can say that my mom is one of the so-called “June bride.”
Their 31 years of being together produced nine kids…and I’m a witness to their struggle and sacrifices just to give us a good future.
And now, my parents are starting to reap what they sow in us….a better life than before. You see, we’re not a rich family, but my parents did everything just to meet both ends for us…and also just to stay together as husband and wife.
My parents were not different from other couples…they also have their quarrels and misunderstandings. At one point, they’re reached the verge of separation. Yes, I can still remember that day where I thought everything is going to end for our family. Now we wonder what make them stay with each other and reached this 31 years of being together…further reflection, I believe that there’s one thing that kept them to stay by each other’s side: us, their children.
Divorce is prominent now in the lives of some famous people. The sad thing is, this kind of lifestyle, as other sees it, imprints the message to the people that divorce is an acceptable thing, but it is not. I know all of us know the saying “Ang pag-aasawa ay hindi parang kaning mainit na iluluwa mo na lang pag napaso ka.” Simply put, marriage is not something that you turn your back to, that you can consider to be void when the going gets tough between you and your partner. That’s why it is still a wise thing to know first your partner well before settling down. Its sad to think that a lot of young people nowadays are so in a hurry to get married, only to find out that they’ve married a beast and not their prince. What’s worse, their union produces a child whom they ignore because they’re so busy healing themselves from the pain they’ve inflicted on each other. In the end, the one who suffers the most from their separation is their child.
I’m not a married person, but if my parents choose to separate that time before, I belive, I will become one of the burden of this society…a product of a broken family…a broken person with an unsure future. Thank God that they didn’t.
Here’s the thing: Divorce is an attribute of the selfish and the coward. Selfish because couples only thought of themselves and they neglect to nuture their child with parental love and provide them with a good environment – a complete family. Couples choose to think only of their own rights, of their own convenience. Coward because instead of facing and talking to each others to settle their differences and to decide to meet halfway, they choose to run away. Coward because they failed to practice one attribute of a really strong person – humility and forgiveness. A married friend once told me this valuable lesson about his married life: he loves his wife not because of what he feels towards her, but he CHOOSE to love her, no matter what the circumstances or his feelings might be. I think this is the same thing for my parents who choose to love each other in spite of everything that they’ve been through in life.
Recently, a lot of my contemporaries are now married or getting themselves ready to be married. So far, I can see for those who are married enjoying their family life, and I’m happy for them. I only pray that when things gets tough for their married life, they must remember these things so they can save their marriage: learn to be selfless, brave, humble, understanding, forgiving and loving…just like what my parents did in 31 years.